


Only The Winds

by neverevesangel



Series: Dreaming Wolf [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 23:50:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20367151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverevesangel/pseuds/neverevesangel
Summary: Solas seeks out Lavellan in her dreams. Post Trespasser. Follow-up to "Under Your Skies".





	Only The Winds

**Author's Note:**

> Not as good as the first one, but I did promise a follow-up. Might rewrite this. Have a rough idea for a third part, too.
> 
> Update, 24.08.2019: Did rewrite large parts, particularly the ending. Didn't like weepy Lavellan. Much happier now. Third part has a name now. No plot though, needs more time in the oven. Also renamed this one from "Halam'shivanas" to "Only The Winds". Look up "Only The Winds" by Ólafur Arnalds on YouTube. It's beautiful.

That night, Skyhold is alight with fires and song. All had gathered in the Golden Nug to celebrate the completion of Varric’s recent novel on the adventures of the Inquisition. There is even talk of a stage adaptation. She only laughs when they come to ask for her approval.

_ Speak with Josie about this. I do not mind. _

She watches them play Wicked Grace for most of the evening. At first they try to persuade her to join in, but she politely refuses until even Varric gives up. Cullen is still losing to Josephine and his face grows redder with each round.

It does not take long until she grows tired of the noise and the laughter. She finds Cole upstairs, hiding in shadows as he so often is. He watches her approach and doesn’t smile but his eyes hold understanding.

_ I miss him, too, _ he says in that dreamy voice of his. _ I have searched for him in the Fade but he will not show himself to me. _

She only nods. They sit in silence for a long while.

When she finally retires to bed, she does so with a heavy heart. Come morning, most of her companions will have left Skyhold, scattered in the wind. Dorian had offered to take her along and show her all of the rotten glory of Tevinter. She’d declined. Skyhold was her home now.

Once, it had been his. Tarasyl’an Te’las, where the sky was held back. 

Sleep swallows her whole as soon as she closes her eyes. She comes to in a place where the wind carries the scent of honey and the green-golden glow of sunlight piercing through leaves paints patterns on the ground.

It is no place for wolves and so he has assumed his elven form once more, seated on the root of a tree. Around his neck he still wears the jawbone amulet. A pendant like armour, she had once thought. Now she knows it is his badge of honour.

He rises to his feet as she approaches, his eyes betraying no emotion. She wishes silently for the smile that had sometimes graced his features all those years ago. When Corypheus was still her only concern and kissing him was as easy as closing the distance.

Now she finds herself halt and hesitate. There is a rift between them that she cannot cross.

_ Please, _ she says. _ Vhenan. _

Her words are fire held to a chunk of ice, melting his mask away so that at last she can see that there is pain in his eyes, too.

_ Ir abelas _, he gives back quietly, less wolf in his voice than before.

With no words to change his mind, she turns away from him. Presses her eyes shut against the familiar sting.

A hand settles in the crook of her elbow, pulling her back in more than one way. Only a fleeting warmth, it is withdrawn quickly when she faces him again.

_ Don’t say I told you so, _ she says weakly. _ How could I have known _.

He inclines his head, but whether in agreement or apology she cannot tell. _ It would have been kinder. _

A heavy silence falls over them until he extends his hand again to touch her shoulder, briefly.

_ Walk with me. _

She follows him down a path she had not seen before. The forest surrounding them feels oddly familiar.

_ Do you remember the first time I brought you into the Fade? _

She nods. Almost smiles. _ You showed me Haven, as it was before Corypheus. You kissed me. _

The memories had not been locked away as tightly as she had thought. They come flooding back in an instant, carrying a bitter taste where there had once been the flutter-sting of newborn desire.

_ Would you rather I hadn’t? _

It is a question she had asked herself many times now. I would rather I never met you, she wants to tell him. I would rather you had turned away and let the Anchor destroy me.

_ No. _

The path leads them to a lake of crystalline water. Now she does smile.

_ You took me home. _

Their eyes meet when he turns to her and for a brief moment, he smiles back. _ I thought you might find it comforting. _

She dips a toe into the water and it is as cold as she remembers it. _ My clan stayed in this area for almost two dozen years, _ she tells him. _ In the summer I would come here to swim. I meant to show you, after the war. But then you vanished. _

They settle down by the shore, not close enough to touch.

_ I was never truly gone, merely out of sight. _

_ Two years I spent wondering, _ she replies bitterly. _ I had them search for you but there was no trace. _

_ I know. _

_ You took my vallaslin and left me naked for the world. I thought I knew you. I never saw the cruelty. _

_ I am the Dread Wolf, _ he says simply, as if it explained everything.

_ You are Solas, too, _ she reminds him. _ Or was that also part of your deception? _

He is quiet for a while and when he finally responds, his voice is heavy with regret. _ No. I am Solas still. _

_ Show me. _

Her words seem to surprise him. He looks up at her curiously.

She decides then that she has waited long enough for him. Closes the distance, finally. Settles against him, her back to the trunk of a tree. After a moment of hesitation, he reaches around her to pull her closer, more firmly than she had expected and his warmth chases away all of her anger and her confusion. She lifts a hand to trace along the jawbone on his chest and realises it is a wolf’s.

_ You do not scare me, Fen’Harel. _

_ Perhaps that is your mistake, _ he responds but his tone is light.

_ If so, I don’t care much_.

Half her reply is drowned in a yawn as fatigue finally overtakes her.

He holds her as sleep carries her away to a place with no dreams. He holds her, knowing that he has chosen his duty over her long ago. Knowing, too, that he remains unable to let go. He holds her body folded against his and watches the waves gently lapping against the shore.

**Author's Note:**

> Well?


End file.
